NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just google imaged poop.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
