He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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