i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
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