So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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