wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
