yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
wat bout pragnant strippers??
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
