Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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