Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
