it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
