that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
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His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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