Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize