just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
