Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
