if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
