I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
