I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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