My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was confusing and full of hummus
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Randomize
