Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
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