did you get engaged???
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
