Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
