its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize