Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  look no pants

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  (973): look no pants http://tfl.nu/j078
  Replies (4) Good night (1553) Bad night (491)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies

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  (508): I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies http://tfl.nu/858n
  Replies (1) Good night (1048) Bad night (530)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person

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  (502): everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person http://tfl.nu/7xqj
  Replies (37) Good night (915) Bad night (2147)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.

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  (407): im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes (1-407): i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/3nr6
  Replies (21) Good night (4055) Bad night (636)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.

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  (631): Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever. http://tfl.nu/2wq0
  Replies (47) Good night (4692) Bad night (988)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Do you have a shampoo for semen

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Or a time machine

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  (604): Do you have a shampoo for semen (604): Or a time machine http://tfl.nu/n3wr
  Replies (29) Good night (1004) Bad night (3501)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song

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  (253): To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song http://tfl.nu/rtr4
  Replies (17) Good night (2525) Bad night (765)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.

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  (517): the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one. http://tfl.nu/7m6s
  Replies (24) Good night (954) Bad night (7729)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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  (303): What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil? http://tfl.nu/rel9
  Replies (22) Good night (5058) Bad night (1415)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.

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  (303): I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it. http://tfl.nu/jr23
  Replies (7) Good night (2445) Bad night (739)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose

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  (765): We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose http://tfl.nu/vyfk
  Replies (5) Good night (2747) Bad night (999)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow

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  (908): almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow http://tfl.nu/cscz
  Replies (13) Good night (4468) Bad night (823)
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  (650): View more from California

  The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad

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  (650): The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad http://tfl.nu/ulr7
  Replies (7) Good night (501) Bad night (966)
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  (518): View more from New York

  You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with

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  (518): You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with http://tfl.nu/vbdb
  Replies (5) Good night (1914) Bad night (333)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.

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  (817): Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty. http://tfl.nu/lz9h
  Replies (5) Good night (350) Bad night (1186)

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