dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?