oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?