am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?