So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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