Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
