Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize