I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
