Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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