Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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