So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
