too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
