Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
did you just send me my own nude
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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