I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
