do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
