if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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