Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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