I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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