then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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