I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
