It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
