no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
