when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize