he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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