Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize