the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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