Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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