Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
