This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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