return my video game
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
