I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
