His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
