well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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