Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
