ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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