The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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