just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
